Comments on: Attachment parenting/babywearing?

By: mytwoboyz1

mytwoboyz1 — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 04:14:34 +0000

young babies. under crawling age… yes love them to bits. i believe in lots of hugs and kisses and holding time… on the other hand. i also believe in self soothing. but this comes along with crawling etc. if you pick a baby up right when they wake and cry. as example . they don’t learn to take care of their own problems (self sooth) love away. i think thats more normal.

By: xlauraxmariex

xlauraxmariex — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 20:15:45 +0000

Most Mums I have seen hold their baby alot but do put them down occasionaly.

By: celestial dragonfly

celestial dragonfly — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 12:58:37 +0000

When I had little ones vacuums didn’t have a drive button. Meals were not cooked in microwaves and I mowed the lawn while they took a nap in their crib.Neither of my children were constantly held. Both are fine upstanding adults now. One with four of her own. More convince is why you can have attachment parenting these days. How do you get everything done? What about cleaning the bathroom? Chemicals are not good for little ones. I’m sure it works good if both parents are WILLING participants.

By: â™¥someâ™¥wannaâ™¥knowâ™¥ â„¢

â™¥someâ™¥wannaâ™¥knowâ™¥ â„¢ — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 01:09:34 +0000

Yes, some do not have the natural affection that you describe. A lot of mothers let their babies cry it out & think that is a good thing.

Why teach independence at such a young age, they will assert their independence on their own in a few short years & you’ll wish you could hold them again?!
It only teaches their child that their caregiver is no longer caring & so eventually the baby gives up & stops crying.

Crying is communication on a baby’s level. How ridiculous to want to shut them up, so to speak.
You- stop talking, hush, don’t say anything now….
That is essentially what parents are telling their child when they leave them alone for periods of time to just cry.

The child needs love, being held, attention. It is in their make-up, not because they are manipulating their parents.

Do not have children people, if you are not capable of teaching your child love from the start.
That is how we learn to love… vicious teens & adults now, did not receive love as a child/infant.

Somewhere along the road, they were taught to shut up & were not able to form attachments, so why should they be expected to show care, respect, & so on as adults!!??

Sorry for the ramble, but your observation is so true.
I agree w/ you 100 %.

By: Suze

Suze — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 11:39:45 +0000

The next time you go to a shopping centre or high street, have a look round at the women with babies. Ask yourself – are most of them carrying their babies or are most of them pushing their child in some kind of pushchair?
All those women with their baby in a pushchair are NOT doing attachment parenting – they are not holding their babies. They are doing what the majority of parents do.
Attatchment parenting means that you never put your baby down. So say your baby falls alseep for the night at 8pm. Rather that putting the baby in a crib or moses basket and for a few hours while dinner is eaten etc, someone practicing attachment parenting will put the baby in a sling so they are still holding them while they prepare and eat their dinner.
The majority of parents put their babies down for their naps and at night, and they use pushchairs when they take them out for a walk. I personally don’t think that it’s natural to never put your child down as most parents need time to do other things.

By: HePunksMeNot

HePunksMeNot — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 10:29:21 +0000

My parents raised me with a method of attachment parenting. As an infant I co-slept, and wasn’t left to sit in carseats for too long, but you can use common sense you can’t hold a baby 24 hours a day. Eventually as I got older the technique involved basically viewing me as an individual human being, and treating me with the same respect that any adult member of the house would recieve.

By: Mom of 2

Mom of 2 — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 04:25:47 +0000

Attachment parenting parents have a couple of different beliefs than regular parents.

Mainly:
No crying it out
No spanking
Baby wearing
breastfeeding

Alot of the time it goes hand in hand with being a *crunchy* parent which means alot of natural, homemade things.

Check out the link below, it might help you.

By: mshighwater

mshighwater — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 07:33:13 +0000

Attachment parenting, as I understand it, is a form of child rearing that goes beyond what is the cultural norm in the West. It includes what you refer to as babywearing and also co-sleeping.

It seems to be the norm in some cultures in less developed countries (in particular) – I’d be interested to read about the reasons for it – and its proponents regard it as a more loving, nurturing way of bringing up children.

For myself, I find the Western way of doing things – in general – suits me better and I don’t think there is anything inherently unloving or neglectful about not carrying your child around ALL the time. We don’t co-sleep either because we took the view that our daughter should learn to go to sleep without relying on our presence to enable her to do so. I respect the choices of others to do it differently but am happy with how we have done it.

By: .vato.

.vato. — Tue, 29 May 2007 07:26:46 +0000

I did not attachment parent my young son. For me; it was simply not possible nor desirable. He was held a lot when he was really young as well as being with me until he needed to sleep or nap. I have never co-slept [routinely] with him and he learned to cry it out at six months. We roughed it out on his stomach taught him new things and just had a good time. I didn’t feel he needed me to hold him 24/7 and honestly couldn’t. Until he was four months I was a ’single’ mother because my husband was in Iraq. I also have a five year old who needs attention as well. Attachment parenting is not for everyone. It wasn’t for me. I didn’t leave my son in a cot at all when he was awake BUT he didn’t get held 24/7 either.

By: belinda

belinda — Sat, 26 May 2007 19:04:19 +0000

Patsajak’s story turned my stomach. I’m crying for that baby who died lonely and rejected.

The way you worded your question is proof that AP is instinctual, not a newfangled revolution in parenting.

Get The Baby Book by William Sears. He has written other books, too, including The Attachment Parenting Book. They’re all awesome.

Mandy S is totally right. The way we live today is so different from the way we lived 1000 years ago. That’s right, 1000. We are no longer surrounded by extended family and in close contact with our neighbors (AKA other tribe members). Because we’re so “independent” (another word for detached), we need to put our babies down. That’s OK. Carry him/her as much as you can, then put her down so you can shower, cook and groom your eyebrows, or whatever YOU need to do for YOU. Good answer, Mandy S.

Get yourself a sling, put your mattress on the floor, and spoil your baby rotten! That’s what babies are for!