Team Work as a Parenting Skill

Posted by Dr. Noel Swanson.. on March 28, 2008
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The most effective parenting skill in establishing child discipline is working together. It is effective in dealing with behavior problems of children of all age groups and children of your own or your spouse’s from a previous relationship. Biological or foster parents can benefit from this skill of team work.

Children are experts in manipulating situations to their advantage. They know that if they can’t get something from one parent, they can always turn to the other. This not only creates unnecessary misunderstanding between the parents but also teaches the children to be opportunists. They get wrong ideas and learn to use unfair means to get their way. This can be avoided through team work.

This is why working together as parents is essential to the welfare and stability of a home and well as a valuable parenting skill. The first thing to do is to sit down and have a meeting – just the parents – and work out a system that works for you as parents.

You can divide the activities between you; that is the most practical and effective team work. After all, you can’t agree on everything, but if you divide the areas of activity, each has the freedom to carry it out to the best of their ability. For example, one parent can handle outdoor activities while the other handles indoor activities..

It’s a good idea to establish a norm that children must take the approval of both parents in each situation. This works very well in most situations except at times when one parent is not available.

Once you have decided about the methods to be used, you need to agree on the rules and steps to follow. Once you’ve decided, then go to your children and explain the situation.

Your children must have the perception that you work together as a team. It will help the older children to understand the situation and it will deter them from future parent playing. It works for smaller children just as well too, because establishing this routine will prevent parent playing from occurring.

Apart from establishing child behavior, parents need to work together to take crucial decisions like schooling and education of the children, faith and religion that they will follow and other important matters. Both parents should be in agreement about how to bring up their children. However, agreeing to disagree is also a part of team work, as long as parents can be cordial and pleasant about it. The important thing is that children should feel that parents work as a team. You can iron out your differences alone but must present a picture of working together to the children.

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