Meeting the Needs of Your Asperger’s Child

You have found out that your child is on the autism spectrum–he or she has Asperger’s Syndrome, a mild form of autism. Autistic kids can be on the odd side of normal, or they can be pretty seriously impaired. Your child with Asperger’s is somewhere in the middle. Now, how can you help your child move toward being more normal? Work to aid his self-confidence, and shield him from those who would discourage him.

How do you increase his self-confidence? You can encourage his musical gifts. He may have exceptional musical talent–people on the autism spectrum often do. He may even have perfect pitch. If your child can enjoy music, or even excel at it, it will give him joy for the rest of his life. Now, how do you find the right teacher? The typical piano teacher may be intimidated by your child. But a music therapist wouldn’t be intimidated. Or perhaps you have a family member or family friend who knows the child and has the patience to teach him. You can build a requirement for daily practicing into your system of rewards for your child. You need to create such a system to encourage your child to do chores and homework.

Children with Aspergers need to learn social skills–they don’t come naturally. It is your job as a parent to find teachable moments and use them well. These moments may not start arriving until middle school, when the child is becoming more aware of those around him. He may figure out that he is isolated, and may not like it. When this happens, it’s your turn to pull him aside and tell him how to replay a particular social situation, this time with a better outcome.

He may be ready for:

* Social skills groups with other Aspies taught by a professional. (Speech therapists are stepping into this need; so are social workers specializing in coaching kids with learning disabilities.)

* Teach him skills yourself, planning the session out beforehand. You can set aside time every day to work on conversation skills, for example.

* Sending him to a special-needs school that will help with this. I believe that mainstreaming the child without any support is not helpful. These children need careful coaching on how to interact with others, and protection from bullying.

Speaking of bullying, this is one of the most damaging situations for your child’s feelings of self worth.

An Asperger’s child in regular school may be the target of teasing and bullying. It is your job to try to make sure that isn’t happening. You may want to volunteer at your child’s school, to find out what is happening. If your child has an aide assigned to him, you can talk to the aide. You can ask the aide to help protect your child from teasing, as well. Negative teasing often goes unpunished in our culture. But you need to find a way to defend your child from these ill effects.

* Homeschooling may allow you to protect your child from teasing. You can find out all about it on the Internet.

* A private school for children with special needs may be available for you. Such a school probably tries to control most interactions between students.

So remember, it’s your job to protect your child’s self-esteem.

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