Dating with Children – Is it Really Possible to Date Again?

Posted by Kim Allissa on December 28, 2009
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Perhaps you are a single parent and you have considered dating again. However, something is holding you back, and that is your children. You may be concerned with how to date when you have children. After all, let’s face it; dating with children is definitely not the same as dating as a single person with no children!

Although this should go without saying, always make sure that your kids stay the most important people in your life. Dates will come and go, but you want your children to be able to know that you are always there for them as they are growing up.

In all instances of dating, you must ensure that your children remain your top priority. That may sound like common sense, but I have seen it many times, where the adult’s needs end up becoming number one even when they never meant for that to happen.

So how exactly do you date again when children are in the picture?

* Keep your children safe psychologically and physically – by keeping your dating world separate from your children. Do not introduce them to all of your dates. There are many reasons for this. First, if your children have a second parent (i.e. your ex), they are probably not interested in the thought of having another one. They may even feel threatened that the person you are dating is going to steal time away from them. Another reason is that you do not want your children to get too close with someone you do not intend to have a long-term relationship with, as this may cause feelings of loss for your children. This could be particularly traumatic if your children have lost a parent to death or a parent who walked out or was just never there for them.

* Find ways to date that save you time – It costs money to hire a babysitter every time you go on a date. It can also use up a lot of your time, which is something you probably do not have a whole lot of these days. Do not go out on lengthy initial dates. Look into other options of dating such as online dating sites that allow you to meet people from home.

* Take the pressure off yourself – Do not feel like you have to date, and do not let other people’s expectations of what you should or should not be doing influence you. If you want to date, then do it with only the intention of having fun and finding companionship. Do not look at it as a way to meet a new mother or father for your children, or as looking for someone that you will be spending the rest of your life with. This may very well happen, but do not let these thoughts pressure you as you will then not make decisions that are as wise for yourself and that of your children.

* Date with the intention to enjoy an adult’s company – not with the intention of meeting your next wife or husband! You do not want to rush into anything, nor do you want to give that impression. If you date for the right reasons, you are likely to meet up with someone that you do end up in a committed relationship with.

In summary, dating with children is something that many parents are doing. However, there are ways to go about dating that will make it easier for both you and your children. Make sure to keep the tips just explored in mind and to put them to use as you take on this new adventure in your life.

Make sure to visit my Parents Dating blog for many more practical ideas on dating as a Single Parent, and to get information on Internet Dating specifically for parents.

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